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Quotations from Women about Women . . . .

The hardest years in life are those
between ten and seventy.
[Helen Hayes, at 73]

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs.
I think of them as stray eyebrows.
[Janette Barber]

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"?
Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
[Jan King]

A male gynecologist is like an auto
mechanic who never owned a car.
[Carrie Snow]

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
[Laurie Kuslansky]

My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first being hitting my head on the top bunk
bed until I faint.
[Erma Bombeck]

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
[Bette Davis]

A man's got to do what a man's got to
do. A woman must do what he can't.
[Rhonda Hansome]

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
[Jane Sellman]

Every time I close the door on reality
it comes in through the windows.
[Jennifer Unlimited]

Thirty-five is when you finally get
your head together and
your body starts falling apart.
[Caryn Leschen]

I try to take one day at a time, but
sometimes several days attack me at once.
[Jennifer Unlimited]

If you can't be a good example, then
you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
[Catherine Aird]

When I was young, I was put in a school
for retarded kids for two years before they
ealized I actually had a hearing loss
and they called ME slow!
[Kathy Buckley]

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde
jokes because I know
I'm not dumb and I'm also not blonde.
[Dolly Parton]

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb
women, but you hardly
ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
[Erica Jong]

If high heels were so wonderful, men
would be wearing them.
[Sue Grafton]

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears
makes one you can ride on.
[Roseanne Barr]

I think - therefore I'm single.
[Lizz Winstead]

When women are depressed they either eat or
go shopping. Men invade another country.
[Elayne Boosler]

Behind every successful man is a
surprised woman.
[Maryon Pearson]

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice
on how to combine
marriage and a career.
[Gloria Steinem]

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the
same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comeshome late every night.
[Marie Corelli]

If men can run the world, why can't they
stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to
start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
[Linda Ellerbee]

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time
I leave a man I keep his house.
[Zsa Zsa Gabor]

Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission.
[Eleanor Roosevelt]

mj

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